Q is for Quirky Quips

Remember the days when hand-picked cheerios were our snack of choice and Sesame Street was our educational mantra? Now, fast forward 20-something years and while beer and wine have subtly superceded those beloved child snacks, there’s something to be said about what educates us in life. Sure college was a blast; we found ourselves, we traveled, we made every regrettable mistake in the book etc. But what if there were a Sesame Street for adults? A show to guide us through the misperceptions of life, love and well, porn. Look no further because AVENUE Q is here to save us.

Who knew that puppets, porn and political incorrectness could be combined into one fabulously didactic form of entertainment? Even if you’ve never enjoyed or ventured the thought of seeing a musical, this is one that shouldn’t be disregarded. The sheer talent it takes to not only act but to act, sing, and dance while handling multiple puppets and all the while singing about sex, racism and internet porn is awe-inspiring, and quite frankly kinda sexy. Bring a date or two, whatever floats your musical boat. One word of advice: don’t learn the songs ahead of time. The appeal of the entire show is the element of surprise. You never know what topic is going to slap you upside the head and the shock factor leaves you wanting much more. If only college were like Avenue Q: main topics for today’s lecture include ‘What to do with a B.A. in English’, ‘Everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes’, ‘What’s your purpose in life?’, ‘The Internet is for Porn’ and ‘It’s okay if you’re gay’.

Get your tickets soon because it’s only here for a few more days!

(The kind of musical you’d bring a hot-coworker-you-want-bag kind of date, not a bring-your-partner’s-mother-to-demonstrate-your-theatrical-proficiency type date)


Avenue Q
Orpheum Theater
Feb 15-27, 2011

Farm Girl Fantasy

Hit it: Do you see this bouquet? It bares an uncanny resemblance to its counterparts of which often connote a timeless gesture of romance. However, this particular bouquet carries one underlying message: I want to be on you.

Nowhere on the handwritten, recycled-paper note card was that phrase scribbled but its implications were loud and clear. I recently received these flowers from a special someone and while I typically tend to enjoy self-bought flowers from the lady on the corner of 22^nd and Mission, I found myself rather bewitched by the allure of this bouquet.

For starters, I was greeted by a bike messenger who had just ridden through unyielding and inhospitable SF wind. A BIKE MESSENGER, how unconventional for a flower delivery service. Even better was the fact that she was female (women empowerment flourishes). The Bike Messenger company is appropriately called Cupid and is a local worker-owned collective. Upon receiving this generous display of affection, I thanked the kind maiden who braved the weather and then promptly noticed the emblem on the mini greeting card buried between the stems. It read: FARM GIRL. The earthly texture of the card alone suggested it was made from recycled paper. Upon further research, I was delighted to learn that Farm Girl Flowers is as green and local as it gets. Local Bay Area growers, local assembly, only in-season flowers, pollution-free delivery, and vase recycling. I was rather pleased with my arrangement and felt that the person on the giving end was sure to receive a handsome reward for their efforts.

If ever an occasion arises to purchase flowers for luring intents as opposed to your standard expression of love, try these out because nothing says ‘Let’s get it on’ (thank you, Marvin Gaye) like an environmentally conscious lover.

Thanks, Rachel for the suggestion!

http://farmgirlflowers.com/

Want your bad romance

Regardless of whether you are a spend-an-absurd-amount-of-ducats-buying-gaudy-heart-themed-presents couple or just a low-key-dine-in-bed-and-a-movie kind of couple, I'd like to say on behalf of the greeting card industry, the flower industry, the lingerie industry, the adult industry and the restaurant industry, thank you for raising our revenues 10-fold once a year on one special, invented holiday. Happy Valentine's Day!

Mash-up and mac-on: DNA Lounge Bootie Night

Overall Review: Hit it. Hit it hard. Bootie Night at DNA Lounge is the quintessential get-in-the-sack pack.

You’ve got your usual 20-30 minute wait in line during peak hours (10pm-11pm), perfect for snuggling up in the chilly SF night. You may find yourself deterred by the way the line wraps around the building. Don’t be. It moves rather quickly, make some friends. There’s the $6 before 10pm and $12 thereafter cover charge, a chance to show off some, while not an absurd amount of “dollah dollah bills”. The crowded dance floor offers ample violation of personal space as well as grinding opportunities and, of course, the only way to counteract the annoyance of being thrashed around on a sweaty dance floor: booze. The drinks are moderately priced, strong and headed for hook-up triumph. I had the pleasure of dancing side-by-side a shirtless gay European on one of the smaller side platforms while being groped at the ankle by a large fella on the dance floor. There’s also a smaller upstairs area that looks down onto the dance floor for those suffering from claustrophobia and voyeurism.

The best parts about this place are the music and the people. Bootie is notorious for their eclectic mash-ups and occasional live, drag-queen performances, pleasing all genres of music lovers and nightclub dancers (excluding homophobes). The crowd is a diverse mix of hotties, hipsters, goths, gays, douche bags, B&Ts and expats. So if your date doesn’t work out, all I’m saying is: fish in a barrel. Fish. In. A. Barrel. Bang.

Don’t forget to hit up the late-night crepe truck next to Butter on your way to find the non-existent cabs.

http://www.dnalounge.com/

375 Eleventh St.

San Francisco, CA 94103

I begin with...

Welcome to my blog, a hopefully charismatic and honest take on the city's happenings and mishaps with its relation to helping males, females, shemales and he-women in their quest to find lust. I'll be sampling the latest, the greatest and the classic trends of San Fran, whether it be food or just plain fun and providing my own little twist to a commonplace review: Hit it? or Quit it? More to come...

Besos!